GETTING A HANDLE ON LIFE AND BUSINESS
I am huge proponent of creating a business that suits your life and not vice versa. I am sure you have heard of startups who fail within a short time of starting.
In both life and business, unexpected events can occur to unsettle us. To ensure your happiness and (sanity!) you need to be able to handle these events well.
You can negotiate the rough bends; with a bit of practice and a growing positive attitude. Perhaps some of these can be useful guidelines to help you wade upstream through the difficult waters.
Recognise that you can not control everything.
If you can accept this one basic yet fundamental premise you will find yourself well on the way to a stress free life. You must understand that you can make choices and decisions which may not have the outcomes that you hope for. This is not to say those choices or decision are wrong. Instead there are certain things that there is no way to ensure they turn out as we would like. Much as we can plan, order, attempt to design things, we may get dealt that blow that could potentially destroy our equanimity. Best to learn early enough that we can not control everything.
Life is not always fair.
There is one question that robs us of so much time and energy yet we continually ask it all the time; even though we are not really expecting an answer. The question is ‘why me?’ When things happen to us we are so consumed by the questions that we do not pursue the answers. The answer may be too difficult to face so we run away from it. The answer may be just as simple as perhaps things were not meant to be. If you don’t believe in providence, you may choose to discard that option.
The victim position can be satisfying but it is not sustainable. This is similar to the comfort blanket or reassuring dummy that children use, so dependent they can't go anywhere without it. It may seem cute, a flapping piece of worn fabric trailing after a toddler. It does not quite fit with the image of an adult. When we have events happen to us that unsettle or causes concern we naturally want to escape,or go back to our infantile time. It’s fight or flight. Naturally many choose flight. We retreat rather than face the situation. Instead we should acknowledge that indeed we can make another choice; one which may be painful. It may be grown up, but it is the only viable choice.
Your response determines the outcomes
So you now accept that there are things that you cannot control or change. It is hard to accept, but you agree that life is not always fair. More difficult to fathom or accept, you know that you can actually make different choices. Not only do you have to grow up, you also need to take responsibility by making conscious decisions. Here comes the good news. The response you make can determine the outcome of a situation.
Good news? Yes definitely. If you know that you can choose your response, you know that there is something you can control. You, your response, your decisions, your action, not things, not people, not events just you. Now that should make you feel relieved. The only thing you now have to worry about is YOU.